Tag Archives: Toronto Police

July 4, Newmarket: Documenting Male Victims of DV IPV And False Allegations Workshop

Are you a male victim of DV, IPV or a victim of false rape, sexual assault or DV/IPV? Do you know of a male victim?  We want to hear from you! Please share this event and help us prevent DV against men, women and children.  Face-Book event page here.

Male DV Victims FB event - TorontoDV

Where: 707 Srigley St, Newmarket, ON L3Y 1X4 Map here

When: On July 4, 2015, between the hours of 12:00 pm and 8:00 pm we will be documenting male victims of Domestic Violence, Intimate Partner Violence and victims of false accusations thereof. This workshop will enable us to move our Judiciary in a direction that will enable it to treat male victims of DV & IPV with equal force and effect as female victims.

You can tell your story with full anonymity. The purpose of this event is by documenting, demonstrating to the provincial and federal governments that DV is an issue that affects males not just, women and children. Currently, male victims of DV and IPV are mostly ignored and those men who do call police, are mostly laughed at and mocked. We want to change this ill stigma so that we can truly address DV in its entirety.  Domestic Violence hurts everyone.

I have now hosted two consecutive www.TorontoDV.com Symposiums with the finest academics here and here talking about DV and IPV as it affects men, women and children without any funding. We need men and boys to come forward and tell their story of Domestic abuse, be it physical, mental or being falsely accused of rape, sexual assault, DV and IPV.  We need this information to show that males are equal victims of DV as 40 years of DV Science tells us.

The worst thing we can do, is remain silent. In order to help you and your fellow man including your sons, we MUST speak up about male DV, IPV and about false allegations.

Please make a much needed donation at the PayPal donate button to the left, to help fund this important event. You can contact me at,  Attila@TorontoDV.com about the event or to send an E-transfer donation.  Together we can make this happen and stop the abuse of men and boys leading to 8 daily male suicides in Canada compared to 2 women.

All rights reserved.

Paul Elam 2015 TorontoDV: A Voice For Men – Domestic Violence Gynocentrism

 

Paul Elam
Paul Elam – A Voice For Men, founder CEO MHRA.

The final speaker at the 2015 Toronto Domestic Violence Symposium is Paul Elam, the founder of A Voice for Men. Elam begins his lecture by describing what he sees as some of the obstacles in the way of a broader understanding and solution to domestic violence. According to Elam, one of the main problems is the cultural tendency towards gynocentrism—a tendency where the needs, wants, and desires of women are continually put ahead of all others.

Elam talks about his experience as a counsellor and the hostility he experienced when, like Dr. Ahmed, he openly broached the subject of female-perpetrated domestic violence. “When I started asking my male clients if they had ever been abused recently in relationships I was shocked. I was absolutely shocked by how many of them starting speaking out,” said Elam.

But while the former counsellor was able to discuss his male clients’ experience of domestic violence he wasn’t able to source them the help that they needed. “The first place that I called was a place called W.I.R.E.S (Women’s Information and Referral Exchange Service.) There were no men’s programmes – there none to be had… The response was ‘we can put him in anger management…’ That was in the mid-1990s and the situation is still the same; it hasn’t changed one bit,” he said.

Elam finishes his talk by pointing out that violence is a generational problem and one that will not change until it is addressed honestly. As children bear witness to violence in the home they repeat the patterns that they see in their own lives as adults. Ultimately, for Elam, tackling the ideas that support a gynocentric societal view is key to starting a process where domestic violence is addressed in an effective and equitable way.

Dr. Tanveer Ahmed, 2015 TorontoDV: Domestic Violence, Feminism’s Last Bastion

Dr. Tanveer Ahmed
Dr. Tanveer Ahmed – Psychiatrist, author, father, DV advocate.

Dr. Tanveer Ahmed is a psychiatrist and politician from Australia, and during this lecture he speaks candidly about his experience working for The White Ribbon campaign in Australia. While there, Dr. Ahmed was a tireless advocate for victims of domestic violence, even helping to expand the campaign in Pakistan. However, once he attempted to draw attention to the fact that both men and women experience domestic violence, and that ideas of ‘male privilege” didn’t tarry with domestic violence statistics, he quickly found himself dismissed and ostracized. Ahmed was eventually forced to resign.

In addition to discussing his time at White Ribbon, Ahmed addresses a number of related issues. He talks about the crisis in masculinity that is affecting the current generation of men. For Ahmed, the breakdown of traditional values and the family unit is one of the defining causes for the crisis, and one that simply hasn’t been investigated honestly. The changing of power dynamics in relationships is also a contributing factor, according to Ahmed leaving men feeling isolated, unsure, and without anyone to turn to for help.

Ultimately, however Ahmed’s lecture works as a sort of appeal where he makes the argument that men are just as deserving of help as women.

Support TorontDV Symposium: Raising A Voice For Abused Boys And Men

We need your help to raise $3,000.00!  You can donate to FundAnything campaign with special rewards or by clicking the donation button at the side and making a direct donation.

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Please help STOP my abuse. Support TorontoDV

The The Canadian Maltese Charitable Service trust will be holding its second annual Domestic Violence symposium at Ryerson College in Toronto, Canada on June 5 & 6 from 9am to 6pm.

The event is needed to bridge a severe information gap. While hundreds of thousands of dollars are dedicated to promoting awareness of the plight and experiences of abused women and girls, little to nothing has been done to inform the public about abused men and boys.

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I just want to live in a happy home. Please help to STOP my abuse. Support TorontoDV

Funds for relief for abuse victims are almost exclusively dedicated to female victims even though half of the victims are male. Anual funding to assist women in Ontario, Canada alone is at about $140 million by the Ontario Government, while Ontario men have no such support. While The Canadian Maltese Charitable Service Trust is dedicated to bringing awareness and promoting assistance for all victims of domestic violence regardless of age or sex, other organizations only recognize DV against women, and children with boys excluded by the age of 12 who are then not welcomed in Women’s Shelters with their mother. This leaves male victims over the age of 12 with little advocacy and no assistance to escape their abusers, in many cases leading to reciprocal violence and perpetuating a cycle of abuse. Even barring compassion for men and boys, such a circumstance is also harmful to women and girls.

Speakers, include Australian psychiatrist and victim’s advocate Dr. Tanveer Ahmed, Sen. Anne Cools, and men’s human rights advocate Paul Elam, will discuss these issues, to bring awareness to the public, judiciary, police, MDs, educators and lawmakers as the phenomenon affects men, women and children. However, getting the word out has been a difficult challenge.

Following a press release, social network campaign, and many attempts at making contact with news outlets, establishment media has maintained radio silence on this event. All attempts at informing the public about the event have been left to the organization itself, necessitating increased expenditures for promotional materials and services.

This second annual Symposium is costing about $10,000 between the venue, equipment, promotional materials, and speakers’ travel and accommodations expenses. Last year, it was funded entirely out of the pockets of Attila Vinczer, Executive Secretary. This year the expense is $3000.00 beyond Mr. Vinczer’s reach. Fundraising within the community is hampered by the issues themselves. Many advocates are victims themselves who have been economically impacted by their ordeals.

For this reason, the organization is seeking donations for the event from the greater community. This symposium is an important and much needed event which provides a service the community is lacking by making available vital information which would otherwise be pushed aside. Please give male victims of domestic/intimate partner violence a voice by donating to help make this event possible.

Please donate $5, $10 or more dollars to help reach our goal and help us make this annual event another success.

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HURTS EVERYONE – PLEASE SUPPORT TorontoDV

TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AFFECTS EVERYONE

Toronto Domestic Violence Symposium, June 5, 6 and 7th, 2015.  Get your tickets here.

070By: RICH HAROLD – For decades women’s rights activists and feminists have taken to the streets and marched, lobbied legislators, and made their voices heard in the name of equality. Yet while women’s rights activists and feminists often talk about the struggles they endured, and the barriers they face, they still often enjoyed a sympathetic audience. Indeed, many involved in the feminist struggle were taken quite seriously when they raised issues.

Those who advocate for men, especially men who are victims of domestic violence, however, don’t have this experience. Attempting to bring attention to the plight of male domestic violence victims is a thankless task, but it is a task that organizers of the Toronto Domestic Violence Symposium (TDVS) are determined to see through.

The conference, now in its second year is the work of Attila Vinczer—a longtime equality advocate. For Vinczer, domestic violence is an issue that society doesn’t approach in an equitable fashion. While the needs of female domestic violence victims are taken seriously, there is a dearth of services available to men. The prevailing attitude is one of indifference, fuelled by a domestic violence industry that seems invested in denying the very idea of male suffering. It was this indifference that spurred Vinczer to work as an advocate, and to push for a broader social understanding of the true nature of domestic violence.

“In 2009 I went to a domestic violence conference put on by C.A.S. (Children’s Aid Services) of Ontario. I listened to the keynote speaker and I was astounded that there was no mention of the domestic violence that men and boys are subjected to;” Vinczer said. “There was this tremendous finger-pointing at how fathers and men were responsible for [all] domestic violence. How can we do anything about it when we’re only looking at half of the problem?”

Vinczer makes a good point; as numerous reports and studies have demonstrated, domestic violence is not a gendered issue—and the rates between male and female-perpetrated violence are largely similar. In certain instances men can be more abusive than women, but in others women are more abusive than men, something the TDVS organizer knows all too well. “My own family situation, while there was never any physical violence, I did experience psychological violence,” said Vinczer. “When I finally broke free from it it was clear to me what I was subjected to and so I began to do more research. But when I went to seek help, the authorities laughed at me. It blew me away that there was nothing out there for men.”

Dealing with authorities was an alarming experience for Vinczer who, perhaps naively, assumed that his queries would be taken seriously. “Now imagine that you’re a man who’s just been attacked by your wife or girlfriend,” says Vinczer. “Imagine that you’re trying to find a place where you can take your kids out of the violence. Imagine being laughed at.”

The ridiculing and shame that men are made feel when they seek help has serious consequences. Shame is a key driver in self-destructive behaviour, something that men are more prone to than women—especially when dealing with severe amounts of stress or depression. When men ask for assistance in escaping domestic violence situations, then, the absence of psychological resources, and the indifference displayed by authorities can exacerbate an already delicate situation. Some men, already mentally fragile from dealing with incredibly difficult situations, can be pushed over the edge.

According to Vinczer, part of the TDVS’s mission is to find a way to remove the stigma surrounding domestic violence victimhood and to create environments free of judgement where men can seek help for their problems. “Men are encouraged to believe the myth that only they can be abusers. So there is a stigma there. It’s incredible that in 2015 we’re still at this point, but it’s time to acknowledge that domestic violence against men and boys is very real. It exists.”

The Canadian government, at least in its official statistics, agrees with Vinczer. According to their 2009 General Social Survey, the numbers for male and female victims is roughly equal. “Of the 19 million Canadians who had a current or former spouse in 2009, 6% reported being physically or sexually victimized by their partner or spouse in the preceding five years. This proportion was lower
than that reported in 1999, but has remained stable since 2004 (Table 1.1). Overall, a similar proportion of males and females reported having experienced spousal violence in the previous 5 years (Table 1.2). (My emphasis.)

Where the Canadian government and the domestic violence industry differs with Vinczer, however, is on how resources should be allocated. The Canadian government is yet to make any significant policy decisions addressing the problem of domestic violence as experienced by men, while the major players like the YWCA, White Ribbon and others refuse point blank to acknowledge the reality of men’s suffering.

“It is very important that we have men who are able to admit that they’re victims of domestic violence. We need to tell males, whether through the media, social media or through educational programs that it’s okay to seek help. We need to teach police that when men call looking for help you don’t laugh at them. You treat them with the same degree of compassion and care that you do women.”

The fact that such foundational awareness raising is still necessary makes the problem’s extent shockingly apparent.